Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
