So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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