i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
