can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
