My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
