Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
