then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
