I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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