she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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