I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize