Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
