spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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