your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
