you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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