Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
