She's JV to your varsity
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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