Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
