I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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