my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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