like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
