I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
