That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
