Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
