well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
