Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
