Already got asked if we're dating
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
