There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
