great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
