She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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