I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she peed on how many people?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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