im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
