just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
