Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
