Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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