i think i have two assholes
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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