I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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