I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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