he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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