My sheets look like a crime scene.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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