I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize