I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
