He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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