I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
