So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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