he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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