he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
