NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
