He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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