im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
