Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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