We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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