she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
