I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
