he wants to bone in the snuggie
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
