I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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