I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
